bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i need some magic done to my vagina
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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