do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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