Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
