Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
