I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
