Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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