I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
