Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
