one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
