i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
