Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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