oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She is in my trunk
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Rumble strips road head = magical
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
