mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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