I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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