This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
false alarm. still invincible.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
