Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
