i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
