ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
