Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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