How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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