whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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