I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The adults are the big ones right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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