She is in my trunk
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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