are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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