I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
