people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
