god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
