it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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