So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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