So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
