Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
