clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
