Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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