Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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