brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
COCAINE IS GR8
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
