we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
