no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
