I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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