I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
