I wish my penis had an off switch
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
