and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
