Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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