Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
