Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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