every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
