he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
