Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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