You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You don't make any sense
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