Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
