If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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