So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
